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THE POPE SAYS PLAY BALL!

Filed in archive JOCK ITCH by jim on October 20, 2004

pope.jpg

The Pope is pissed. He wants the world to know that the Catholic Church is about more than just child molestation and collecting donations.

Even trying to influence American politics, where there is a separation of Church and State, although it doesn't seem there is anymore, isn't enough; the Pope wants to grow his business.

So, now the Vatican is expanding into the sports arena in an effort to spread awareness of the Church's presence, and to convince the world that they're just a bunch of regular guys.

The Holy See has instituted a weekly program on "Vatican Radio" with Cardinals performing as soccer commentators.

Cardinal Fiorenzo Angelini was the first guest three weeks ago. Typical of a Catholic priest he was critical of nearly everything, especially the way the Italian national team is selected.

He also delved into the world of psychology when he said:

"There are pressures and recommendations, the fact that playing soccer has now become an economic reality creates a consideration where being or not being on the national team can increase or decrease the commercial worth of an athlete, which is very sad."

The coach of the Italian team, Marcello Lippi, made no effort to hide his displeasure with the Celebrity Cardinals when he said:

"I understand that Italy is a Catholic country, but now we've got cardinals talking out? I'm having a hard time understanding this."

Luca Collodi, the show's host and producer said that Angelini is a Roma fan. He speculated that the Holy Father is a Lazio fan, but quickly added that it' s just a rumor.

So what' s next, an appearance on the "Food Network" by Cardinal Carlo Calamari preparing his favorite Pesto?


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