SCARLETT JOHANSSON HAS CELLULITE

Filed in archive MOVIE MATTERS on August 31, 2004

on her thighs. At least that's what's being reported by Melbourne's "Victoria Tower" The writer also has the temerity to refer to her thighs as "otherwise unremarkable." The inaccuracy of that opinion alone makes the statement suspicious.

I beg to differ, her thighs are quite worthy of favorable remark.

I've looked at pictures of her, as closely as is possible for this old lecher, and I see no evidence of anything out of place.

Of course, as is the case with all celebrities, Johansson, although only nineteen years of age, has already been the subject of other inaccuracies particularly in the area of significant others.

Thus far it has been rumored that she engaged in aberrant sexual behavior with Benicio Del Toro, in an elevator, while a stranger was present, was a participant in a Lesbian affair with designer Tara Subkoff, and has bedded Jude Law, Heath Ledger, and Jared Leto, among others.

Back to the meat, er, fat of the story.

Other popular stars who have been reported as being pudgy include, Britney Spears and Christina Aguilera. Hmmn, looks like fat of the good variety to me.

Lara Flynn Boyle is also included in the celebrity lard list! C'mon, get real, putting her in the same category as Hall Of Fame porkers such as Liz Taylor, Kirstie Alley and Carnie Wilson is nothing short of ridiculous.